I admit it: on occasion, I Google myself. Not in a Divinyls kind of way (“when I think about you, I Google myself …”), mind you, but in a nerdy, quasi-academic, genealogical what-if-I-might-be-related-to-somebody-interesting kind of way. And of late, I’ve noticed more and more that I’m being pushed to the bottom of page one by a cadre of businesses who, no doubt, are paying good money to get themselves ranked higher than me on the front page of search results. The nerve!
So what I know, that those silly foreigners don’t, is that Google is all about relevance (at least it was “top factor #8,” according to SEOmoz, at least until this writing, at which point they changed the algorithm just to spite me). So I’m going to test that theory by making this the most relevant Barbot-related page on the in-tire Barbot-obsessed interwebs, by talking a whole lot about Barbot and how important Barbot is to the future of Barbot. Barbots everywhere will be linking their sorry Barbot asses to this page of Barbot-cracy, in hopes that some day, their Barbot spawn will throw their Barbot carcasses at the feet of this Barbotian monument to all that is Barbot - American-style - in all its Barbot-liciousness.
Take that, Frenchies. And Portugese … ies. And Argentine … oes. At least the Frenchmen bothered to use both the extrude AND the metallicize filters … the Portuguese get some points for style, but my God, is that all Argentina can come up with? Hey, at least they are trying to sell yachts (near as I can tell), instead of paint or truck rentals. Is this what my people have come to? Is it really just down to the three-Michelin-star chef Pascal Barbot and me to bear the Barbot standard of supreme edginess, ironic disaffection, and Google-page-one obsession into the 21st century?
Uh, I guess so. Or maybe it’s just me; Pascal has some pommes to frites. But in the meantime …
Barbot, Barbot, Barbot. I am the real Barbot! Vraiment! Vive l’Amerique! So there!
Oh, and Pascal, I hope to be in Paris in March, 2009 - see what you can do to hook me up, mmkay? Je vous remercie!
“Conservatively, it’ll get 60 miles to the gallon. With 2,000 foot-pounds of torque. You’ll be able to smoke the tires. And it’s going to be superefficient. Think about it: a 5,000-pound vehicle that gets 60 miles to the gallon and does zero to 60 in five seconds!” ”—I love this guy, Johnathan Goodwin. He can mod my ride any day ( that sounded naughtier than I meant it). Motorhead Messiah - Fuel Efficient Cars - Biodiesel - Hybrids